My testimony

How I came to salvation

Hi, my name is Bob Christmas and I became a follower of Jesus, was born again, on the 5 Feb 1995. This is my story.

I was born in 1957 in South London to a working class family; I was one of 5 children, second to last. Christianity, or any religion for that matter, was not part of my life growing up. The only time I saw the inside of a church building was at christenings, weddings or funerals, oh and church parade when I was in the scouts. But whatever I heard in those places was mere words and they were instantly forgotten.

I can remember though at primary school sitting down in the afternoon, on the carpet, and our teacher reading us stories from a great big picture Bible. I remember she was an Asian lady which in the early 60’s was unusual and she had us enthralled looking at the pictures and listening to the stories of Jesus and probably Daniel and Jonah.

Then came Grammar School and the consolidation of my secular worldview – religion in a sense was for the weak or stupid and science now had all the answers. I viewed RE as I did Latin, a waste of time, and I dumped both subjects as soon as I could. I swallowed wholeheartedly the theory of evolution and all that came from it.

At this time racism was a given and we started to have boys of different colour and background coming into the school. Now with a name like Christmas I knew what it was like to be picked on but to be called the names we called the new boys must have been intolerable.

I remember one situation - Pravin Patel was sitting in a corner of the playground sobbing. He wasn’t particularly my mate but I went to see if he was ok and he told me that he had been called “Paki” again and he couldn’t take it anymore. I just sat there with him and held him as he cried.

My Dad was a racist, as well as a wife-beater, so there was no escape from the intolerance at home.

Anyway I finished school didn’t fancy university but instead I wanted to start work and earn some money. Wine women and song didn’t come cheap even in those days. So I began a career in banking and I enjoyed my late teens doing all that unsaved teenagers do. I left home just after my 18th birthday on the Saturday that my Mum and Dad were going on holiday. I phoned them when they came back to tell them.

I used to drink far too much and almost died on my stag night. Iwas taken home in a cab and while my mate paid I staggered towards a shop and into the glass frontage.  The glass broke into large jagged pieces (no safety glass in those days) and I seemed to bounce off it.  When my mate picked me up I didn't have a single scratch or cut ............. Lucky or the grace of God?

I met my first wife and was married with 2 kids by age 26, with a suburban semi, mortgage to go with it, and all was looking well.

Her father was a Methodist minister, a superintendent actually, and throughout the years that I knew him he never once told me about Jesus or my need of salvation.

To get my two boys into the local CofE school you had to attend church so I, not my wife, started to attend the local Methodist congregation only I suppose because of my father in law. I knew nothing really of Methodism or Christianity.

So I went for 4 long years, became treasurer (of course) of the church playgroup, went through the motions but never once heard the Gospel of the Grace of God. 4 years. As soon as the kids were in school I put Methodism behind me.

Anyway I was studying for my professional qualifications, to become an ACIB, and one Saturday morning while trying to do a mock exam and look after the boys, my wife came back to tell me that she had seen a solicitor to start divorce proceedings – completely out of the blue.

So that was that I left the matrimonial home to her in lieu of maintenance and walked out with a suitcase and two cardboard boxes and maintenance for two young boys. So much for our wedding vows.

Not long after, even before the divorce was finalised, I met another young lady and moved in with her. Thankfully working at the bank made mortgage finance cheap and relatively easy to obtain.

The boys used to spend every weekend with me and when my ex got wind of a second salary coming in I was back in court for increased maintenance. Was I bitter – only a little?

So after 6 years that relationship ended and at 34/5 I was on my own living in a 2 up 2 down with negative equity of about £25k, which in 1991/2 was a huge amount. Looking after my sons each weekend trying to make ends meet on one salary with no reduction in the maintenance (I should say that I never once missed a payment).

So I started to live a single life again, wine women and song, plus copious coffee and cigarettes. I needed another income.

One of my clients at the bank needed an injection of capital but I couldn’t agree the loan finance. So I got one of my mates to take out a £5k personal loan for me so I could buy into the customers driving school business. I ran the financial side of the business and took a regular salary which eased my burden and paid the instalments on my mate’s loan – however this was cash, no tax insurance or vat, no nothing.

However I had acted fraudulently with regard to the loan and it was a condition of my employment that I had no financial interests in any other business let alone a customer. So I was now deep in it if anything came out.

At the bank I was doing everything I could to increase the branch profits – I was a branch manager – which included huge amounts of miss sold PPI, mortgage insurance products, pensions you name it I miss sold it. But I got a good bonus at the end of the year.

So I was probably at the worst point of my life by now, coming home to an empty house, smoking and drinking rather than eating, up to my eyes in deceit, working now two jobs, and still trying to look after two young boys. Then the journey of my life took a strange turn.

Julie started to work part time at the driving school. I asked Julie out and to my surprise she said ok. Then she dropped the bombshell. She made it quite clear that, as a Christian, our relationship could only be friendship. I thought she was joking - but she wasn't.

I really couldn’t understand it. What was wrong with her? Everyone had casual affairs. But no not this woman. And what was with this Christianity lark, did anyone believe that junk anymore? Yep, she did – all of it. I don’t know why I didn’t back off right there and then but I didn’t and instead continued to pursue her.

Slowly but surely Julie, and her sister Lauranne and brother-in-law, Danny, started to share Jesus and the gospel with me, all the time they were praying for me. Julie shared videos, books and tapes with me and I enjoyed the challenge of refuting all her claims for the gospel and the existence of God.

My 20 years of working for Midland Bank/HSBC had made me a very logical thinker and I was pretty much steeped in Secular Humanism – I was capable of being moral and good without the need for a god, there was only the natural world no heaven no god.

However I was given two books (apart from the Bible) that changed my life. Julie gave me "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis and "The Answers Book" by Ken Ham. I enjoyed Lewis' logical approach to things and his statement that Jesus was either God, a lunatic or a liar has stayed with me to this very day. Ken's book was great at explaining Creation and throwing doubt on my belief in evolution. I did not realise at the time but I was being confronted by Romans 1:18-20.

Anyway, I had now been given a Bible and proceeded to read it through (yes from genesis to revelation). I forget how long it took but it was only a couple of months. Not very much made any sense at all, but it did give me the ability to debate things easier now that I had some idea what the book said. I started to borrow other books and tracts and things and I knew then that I had to find out whether Christianity was true or false.

My belief in all things evolutionary was losing ground now and I could not read enough books or watch enough videos on the subject. I came to the logical conclusion that I could not have come from "nothing" unless it was God who did something with that nothing. I thus believed the Genesis account of Creation – I could actually believe that God created everything we see in 6 literal days!

I was then in a dilemma. If the craziest part of the Bible was correct then the rest surely had to be. If God could create all of this then He could certainly raise someone from the dead. But what about the other religions, the other gods. Was the Bible Correct?

It was then that I started to look at my self - where did I intend to spend eternity. Heaven or Hell - follow Jesus or do my own thing. What was love? What did grace mean? These were the questions I was now asking.

Well at this point a spiritual battle took place for the eternal destination of my soul. I started to have nightmares I would feel the sensation of being held down with such force that I was unable to lift myself from the bed or, at times, even to breathe, However, just as it seemed I could hold out no longer someone would enter the dream and I would be freed. I can now see that this was the Devil trying to keep me in his camp and Jesus was setting me free to join, as it were, his camp.

Well after the first instance of this dream I phoned Julie, about 3 or 4 a.m. and to my surprise I asked her to pray for me which, of course, she did and I felt a certain peace return. I was beginning to realise the spiritual dimension now and logic was not the only basis for my changing beliefs. It was at this stage that I knew I had to make a decision and I decided that I needed salvation. I knew that my life was a series of errors up to this point.

All other religions seemed to be man reaching out to God but only Christianity had God reaching out to man. I started to understand that grace was only present in Christianity and that in all other religions you had to work to gain god’s favour – and you were never certain of salvation.

I knew from what had been said to me and from what I had read that I could only have my sins forgiven and enjoy the gift of eternal life by placing my trust in Jesus. John 3:16 was becoming very real “For God so loved the world (that’s all of us) that He gave His only begotten Son (that’s Jesus) that whoever believes in Him (Jesus) should not perish (be cast into hell) but have everlasting life (with God in Heaven)”. This was the answer to my search for true love. Love was Jesus stretching out His arms and dying in my place.

I knew from what I had read in Romans that “the wages of sin were death” and this death was not just being separated from God, or being annihilated (as some teach) but this death was eternal suffering in Hell rather that eternal life, eternal joy with Jesus.

I can't quite remember now where I was but I said a sort of sinner's prayer in my head – I admitted I was a sinner and asked for forgiveness and for Jesus to save me as He said He would. Nothing at all happened, I felt no different, I had not changed, I did the same things and I certainly did not feel I had a relationship with Jesus Christ. So much for Christianity and God’s promises.

A few weeks later Julie took me to Portsmouth to stay with her sister and husband for the weekend. Of course we would be expected to go to church on the Sunday. I actually enjoyed the meeting – there was a tangible feeling of love in that place, everyone was so kind and, well, loving.

As we were walking back to Danny's car Lorraine asked me if I had thought any more about the need for salvation. This was in Arundel Street at about 1 pm and we were walking along the pavement. I told her that I had prayed but nothing had happened and she said "why don’t you say it again and tell me". The moment I confessed my faith in Jesus aloud I knew I was saved. The weight of sin, that I didn’t even know was there, was lifted from my shoulders and I felt it go.

So God spent the afternoon washing me clean with my tears and the power of Jesus’ Precious Blood. I poured out my heart to Jesus and asked him to forgive all the things that I had done, some heinous things that I cannot even now mention. Julie and her sister prayed with me as my soul was laid bare. I knew my sins were forgiven but I needed this cleansing process – the Lord gave me the grace to forgive all those that had wronged me and I asked him to forgive me for all the wrong I had done.

It was only later that I could see in my own salvation the practical outworking of Romans 10:10 "For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation". I had believed in my head not my heart and It was only when I confessed Jesus as my Lord and Saviour with my mouth and not my mind that I was saved.

So I was forgiven I was washed clean God had removed my transgressions from me as far away as the east is from the west. The difference was immediate my old self had gone and a new creation had been born again.

From that moment God cleaned my mouth out for me, without my even noticing at first. I just stopped swearing and using the Lord’s name in vain. It was a miracle as my mouth was vile – I would try to contain it around Julie though.

So everything was rosy – no. My parents and siblings turned their backs on me thinking I was either insane or in a cult. I was still in debt, still in negative equity, still acting illegally at the driving school, still being deceitful at work. I knew in my heart now that I couldn’t continue with either banking or the other illegal business. Looking back it was a bit like a Zaccheus moment (Luke 19). The Lord then did 5 more miracles in my life.

I had a staff meeting scheduled and told my staff what had happened and that I would be resigning. They all heard the good news that day. I then phoned my boss, Alan, at work and told him that I had become a Christian and could not continue doing the job. He invited me over for a chat a few days later and Julie and I prayed for those 2 or 3 days for the Lord’s will to be done.

He asked why and how, so I gave him my testimony – he was interested but there was no “wow what must I do to be saved”. He did say that he would let me go and that he would have liked to offer me voluntary redundancy but the year’s budget had already been spent.

So I thought ok that’s one situation tidied up it would have been nice to get the redundancy payment but I knew that God was in control. I told Julie and she was of the same mind. Three days later Alan phoned and asked if I was still handing in my notice and I said yes and he said hold on for just a couple of weeks I’ve found some money and I can give you the full redundancy package.

Well praise the Lord. This allowed me to put my house on the market and once sold I could repay the mortgage outstanding, the negative equity. There wasn’t much left after that, but I was able to start a small driving school in south London and I qualified as a driving instructor in 1996. Half the salary I was used to but a million times happier, and no reduction in maintenance payments.

Then the driving school – I told Steve, the owner, I wanted out and needed my investment back. Now he wasn’t the sort to part with money easily and so he refused. Again we went to prayer and then arranged a face to face meeting with him and to my utter astonishment he agreed to the proposal I put forward, for him to restructure debt, and he paid my investment back in full. This allowed the personal loan in my mates name to be paid off and a little to spare.

Now the tax and insurance that I hadn’t paid on my illegal earnings. I worked out roughly how much I owed over the 2/3 years I had been involved and sent a letter to HMRC with a cheque for what I thought was outstanding. I was called up to their offices in Croydon to discuss the matter and as the monies covered I think 3 or 4 tax years they wanted a tax return for each year. I told them this was impossible as no records were kept but this was my best estimate of what I owed can’t they just take it? No, computer says no. Anyway the kept the money on a suspense account and to cut a long story short after 6 years (statute of limitations) they sent the money back to me plus interest.

Then about a month after I was born again I prayed one night in March that the Lord would take away the habit of smoking from me. I went to bed that night and woke the next morning free and I haven’t smoked since, no withdrawal from the nicotine or the habit, no desire for another – just complete freedom.

The 5th miracle – Julie said yes when I asked her to marry me, and we have now been married for 29 years – and the vows we said, we meant every word. We wrote the vows ourselves with help from the church we were attending and it was so personal to us. At the wedding I got to give my testimony again to all mine and Julie’s unsaved family and friends. The love we have for each other in Christ is so different to the love that I ever had for anyone else. In fact I don’t think I ever truly understood love before Jesus came into my life.

It hasn’t always been easy and a tragedy struck just 7 years after I was saved – almost to the day. I was saved 5/2/95 and my son was killed in a car crash on 11/2/2002, he was just 20 years old. I had taught him to drive. We had moved to Portsmouth and so didn’t see my sons as often, they were at Uni now, and we got the phone call at 1:30 in the morning. I was stunned. I even went to work as usual in the morning but then couldn’t cope with the afternoon so cancelled all the lessons.

While I was out Julie had phoned all our Christian friends to pray for us. The word got round and the next day a brother from Reading phoned to comfort me and to tell me that the same thing had happened to him some years ago – I had no idea. From that phone call I started to heal but there was still another miracle to come.

Rainy, Julie's daughter - my step daughter. was working in Oxford so we travelled up the next day to tell her in person – we couldn’t do it over the phone. She was a carer helping people with learning difficulties and one of the blokes was John Stutt. He believed in Jesus with a child’s faith, his mental age was probably 4 or 5 at best. We hadn’t spoken to him and couldn’t go without a quick hello and goodbye.

Well we were saying goodbye and out of the blue he asked if he could pray for me so I said “Of course John” and I walked back over to his bed and he said “Bob, Jesus says it will be ok, amen”. I thanked him and rushed out of the room as tears flooded down my cheeks. This poor old man with the mind of a child had a word of knowledge from the Holy Spirit – a word of encouragement to me. Yes God still speaks to us.

So when I got saved I gave up pretty much everything, my family my job, my old habits, smoking drinking womanising, I lost a son, but He gave me so much more – a worldwide family, friends from America to New Zealand, a job I love and gives me the opportunity to talk to people about God’s great love, new habits like prayer praise worship and studying the Bible, but the best thing is the local fellowship of believers, and all the youngsters are my children in Christ. I praise God for you all.

I cannot finish without telling of one more miracle. Jesus not only gave me a beautiful Godly wife but also a daughter. I had always wanted a daughter. Now if any of you have step families you will know how tough things can be – how easy it is to show the works of the flesh rather than the fruit of the Spirit. But we made it with His help and I felt so honoured when she was finally able to call me Daddy. And Daddy gave her away in January 2015 to my new son, Barry.

So at times I feel a bit like Job “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity” – the Lord gives and takes way – I have lost a lot but gained so much more.

So my eternity is secure – when I die I will be with the Lord, if He returns for His church before I die I will not be left behind. My sins are forgiven, I’ve been born again, God loves me and I seek to follow Jesus every day.

When I look back now I can see the role the Asian teacher at school had played, how God had given me compassion for the hurting even at an early age in the playground at school, that He had kept me alive through many dangers, how even RE and the Methodist church had kept His name alive in me, until I was ready to hear the Gospel, until the day I bowed my knee to Him, until the day God’s love made a difference in me.

How many of you reading this know the difference God’s love has made to their lives.

Is there anyone reading this who would like to know the difference God’s love can make. Is there anyone reading this that is ready to submit to God and bow their knee before the Lord?

The Bible tells us that today is the day of salvation not tomorrow because we may never see tomorrow. God wants all men to be saved He doesn’t want any to be lost. He takes no delight in the death of a sinner, it grieves His heart. If you believe in your heart that Christ died for your sins, that He shed His precious blood to take the penalty you could never pay, that He was buried and rose again on the third day, that he was who He said He was – God incarnate in the flesh - then would you confess the Lord Jesus with your mouth for whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Thank you for reading, may God bless you and your families in Jesus name.

© Copyright Bob Christmas